40 days: 9 | Start small

Start small.

For almost a year, I struggled to restart my daily writing practice. No matter how I approached it, after a day, a week, two weeks, there was NOT ENOUGH TIME. Early morning is my most productive part of the day but rather than write, I would roll out of bed and immediately start working (coding, usually.) The stress of all my TODOs flooded me and I tamed the tide with instant, constant attention. The tide was as constant as my attempt to tame it. Writing gave way.

Then, while on a flight from San Francisco to Austin, I wrote a symbol in my journal. It was a house, very simply rendered, and the idea of “365 days of coming home” filled my mind like a sunrise. I committed there and then to write every morning. I put the number “1″ inside my house, wrote the date and time next to it, and journaled for awhile. The next morning, I put the number “2″ in a new house, and wrote again.

At first, there was no time limit on the writing and I wrote for less than 20 minutes. All I had to do was show up, no more. After awhile, I felt there was NOT ENOUGH TIME to write and began writing for 30 minutes, then 45, and finally a full hour. This morning, I wrote “339″ in my little house. I’ve missed fewer than 5 days.

Last night, I came home from my massage appointment at 7:45 and felt there was NOT ENOUGH TIME for yoga practice. Then I remembered: the only rule is to show up. I got down on the floor, while my partner watched Iron Man nearby, and did one round of sun salutations. Oh, my hamstrings. I went slowly, paying attention to my body, my tightness, my feet. Another round, another round, then I moved into some postures. At the end, my forward bend went deeper than I would have thought possible and the opening felt so good, I smiled. A big grin. I wanted to do more and promised myself more the next day.

Start small.